Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Family

Recently I've made contact with certain members of my family for the first time in close to twenty years. The reason for our lack of contact has been largely geographic on my part. I moved away from my the place where I was born and it just naturally evolved that I didn't keep in contact. After a year or so of sporadic emails, and occasional phone call the lines drifted apart. No Christmas meet ups etc.


Admittedly I'm not the best at keeping in contact with family and friends. Naturally somewhat shy and slightly reclusive I always feel like I'm bothering people if I contact them. Lack of contact is usually my fault and I could be a bit better at this. Well that explains my understanding of how we lost contact on my part. I want to now look at some of things I noticed about our relationship after so many years.


There is something obviously unique with the relationship between family members. It feels to me like a combination of genetic similarities and association over long periods of time (especially in formative years). Furthermore family members are generally people one interacts with at the most difficult points of life. It’s somewhat of a cliché to say friends come and go but family remain, but it’s kinda true. It’s easier to reconnect with family after long periods of absence than friends who have drifted apart. There seems to be a whole lot of factors to this equation but I think we are a little less judgemental or even patient with our family. Take an extreme example like, if Donald Trump was either your Grandpa or friend. You really wouldn't tolerate a friend talking that kind of shit. But we've all got that cringe worthy old relative who says some of the most embarrassingly inane things humans have ever spouted. An extreme example but hopefully you see my point.

I want to make a final note on the genetic side of things. This specific family member looks like certain members of my family. I'm sure this had a subliminal context of association. Either with something primal like ‘one of the tribe’ or even association with kindness and love form other members of the family. All these things, I feel, are at least contributing factors.